Making wriggle room

Why do they do it?
Writers, I mean.

I read a blog written by an agent or an editor, and they give simple advice, and I take it. After all, they are clearly stating what they are looking for, what they like, and what irritates the living shit out of them. And instead of all the comments saying 'good advice, I'll remember that' or words to that effect, there are usually one or two (or more) trying to create wriggle room. They say they're doing 'x' or 'y' with the best of intentions, or because it's easiest for them. Or it makes them feel better.

Here's a clue. Do what's best and easiest for the agent or the editor. If they want things done a certain way, then do it, OK?

Case one:

Sterling advice from the Rejector, about saving money. In a nutshell, if an agent requests a partial or full, you don't have to fork out for overnight mail or express delivery. Regular post is fine. Save your money. Plus, sending things the expensive, fast way, makes a writer look impatient. Publishing moves at a glacial pace. A few days isn't going to matter. But no, a couple of replies go along the lines of 'if I want to waste my money I will' or 'a few days can make all the difference' or 'I send it express because I can track it'.

Can you see what's happening here? The writers are making excuses, they're making wriggle room, they're trying to take advice by curling it up and making it suit them.

Case two (a few days later)

Jessica at Bookends LLC says there's no need to send a thank you note to her after receiving a form rejection.
(Because when agents form-reject you, they're really not interested, and they probably have 200 more queries they need to get through before lunch).

Once again the wriggle room creeps in. Some of the relies directly contradict Jessica's advice, because they are 'polite' and always say thank you for something. Or they look for a different angle, asking things like 'but what about if it's a this kind of rejection, or a that kind of rejection, can I send a thank you note?' Some go further by saying when they get a form rejection, they email the agent back and ask for feedback. (When, surely, if the agent had any feedback to give, wouldn't they have given it in the original rejection?)

It boggles my brain.

For what it's worth, here is my advice:
Don't waste your time by contradicting agents and editors.
Don't try and develop a relationship where none exists (ie, when you get a rejection, move on, don't keep coming back to them unless it's with a new book proposal)
If you want feedback, join a critique group.
Spend your time working hard to make your story as appealing as possible, so that when an agent or editor picks up your submission, they will want to read more.

Ah. I feel so much better now.