Grand Larceny

I am a total thief.

I am not completely Scottish.
Hamish, a character in Ondine: The Summer of Shambles, is Scottish. He needed to be gorgeous, clever and witty. So really, he had to come from Scotland.

I could not afford to travel to Scotland to listen to how real Scots speak in their day to day life. So what did I do? I listened to my friends who were either from that region of the world, or who had parents from those places. I listened to DVD commentaries and podcasts featuring Scots. I may have cyberstalked David Tannant. I also stole a fair bit of the language from a great many wonderful websites. And those websites were so crack-tacularly fantastic. I laughed so damn hard I hurt. And then I laughed again through the hurt.

Here they are:
First Foot
Scottish Slang Productions
Urban Dictionary
Peevish
Wiktionary
Literal Barrage

Coming soon - nifty websites to help you invent your own country!

What does plagiarism mean anyway?

Good morning all,
I have a bug up my you-know-what this morning. Another plagiarism case, another oh, it's all just a misunderstanding, nobody's done anything wrong, really.

What a lot of hooey! (And I'm sure many people have said this before me, like The Smart Bitches)

I wonder sometimes, why there is not more outrage? Perhaps writers are a bit paranoid. Perhaps they're scared to go hard on plagiarism because maybe one day in the future they might unwittingly do it themselves? Yep, I've got my hand up for that. I am scared one day I'll use words that aren't my own. I do my best not to. When I have a really great thought and think 'it's too good, it can't be mine' I google it and see if it really is mine. It takes all of five minutes.

Maybe if writers jump up and down and shout too much, people might start putting those writers' books through search engines to see what comes up? Because the internet can be like a feeding frenzy sometimes. Cue images of blood in the water and circling sharks etc.

Maybe they just don't get it?

Plagiarism is when you use someone else's words verbatim (or substituting a couple of words but otherwise doing a nifty cut and paste) without saying whose words they are. That's pretty much it in a nutshell. You're using someone else's words and central ideas and pretending they're yours.

If I say 'nobody likes a smart arse' I could be quoting just about anyone. That phrase is pretty much in common usage so there's no need to attribute. If I then go on to prove God doesn't exist because without faith God is nothing and then I prove black is white and get run over at a zebra crossing - that's plagiarism. Those are Douglas Adams' words, more or less. His wit and sweat and mental toil, and I've ripped him off because I can't be arsed thinking up something clever myself. Those words belong to Douglas Adams (and now his estate, and probably author Eoin Colfer who is authorised to write the next Hitch Hiker's books). On a side note, how awesome is that!!!!!

Plagiarism is stealing, whether it's intentional or not. "I didn't mean it" means nothing. "I was talking with my friends and they came up with the line, and they said I could use it." Same deal. (And in any case, why not attribute your friend instead?)

There is no real word limit to plagiarism. It's not like you can quote up to 50 words and not have to attribute it. If you are using someone else's words, you need to say so. If you're using those words in a non fiction newspaper article, then all you have to do is say 'as fred bloggs said on coolestkiwiblog.co.nz, 'the world's going to hell faster than I can shear a sheep' and I agree with him.

See how I managed to use someone else's quote and attribute it? (And I don't know if there really is a Fred Bloggs, but you get the drift).

Plagiarism means you need to say whose words they are. If your name appears at the top of the article, you're claiming all the words are yours. Now, we all use the same sorts of words because most of us use English or Cantonese or Engrish, but having your name on the by-line means the order of those words and therefore the thought processes behind them are fundamentally yours.

Yes, we are human, yes we all are capable of making big mistakes. I'm sure I'll make some clangers as time goes on. And when I do, feel free to tar and feather me as a hypocrite because I will probably deserve it.

Because stealing is wrong.

Making wriggle room

Why do they do it?
Writers, I mean.

I read a blog written by an agent or an editor, and they give simple advice, and I take it. After all, they are clearly stating what they are looking for, what they like, and what irritates the living shit out of them. And instead of all the comments saying 'good advice, I'll remember that' or words to that effect, there are usually one or two (or more) trying to create wriggle room. They say they're doing 'x' or 'y' with the best of intentions, or because it's easiest for them. Or it makes them feel better.

Here's a clue. Do what's best and easiest for the agent or the editor. If they want things done a certain way, then do it, OK?

Case one:

Sterling advice from the Rejector, about saving money. In a nutshell, if an agent requests a partial or full, you don't have to fork out for overnight mail or express delivery. Regular post is fine. Save your money. Plus, sending things the expensive, fast way, makes a writer look impatient. Publishing moves at a glacial pace. A few days isn't going to matter. But no, a couple of replies go along the lines of 'if I want to waste my money I will' or 'a few days can make all the difference' or 'I send it express because I can track it'.

Can you see what's happening here? The writers are making excuses, they're making wriggle room, they're trying to take advice by curling it up and making it suit them.

Case two (a few days later)

Jessica at Bookends LLC says there's no need to send a thank you note to her after receiving a form rejection.
(Because when agents form-reject you, they're really not interested, and they probably have 200 more queries they need to get through before lunch).

Once again the wriggle room creeps in. Some of the relies directly contradict Jessica's advice, because they are 'polite' and always say thank you for something. Or they look for a different angle, asking things like 'but what about if it's a this kind of rejection, or a that kind of rejection, can I send a thank you note?' Some go further by saying when they get a form rejection, they email the agent back and ask for feedback. (When, surely, if the agent had any feedback to give, wouldn't they have given it in the original rejection?)

It boggles my brain.

For what it's worth, here is my advice:
Don't waste your time by contradicting agents and editors.
Don't try and develop a relationship where none exists (ie, when you get a rejection, move on, don't keep coming back to them unless it's with a new book proposal)
If you want feedback, join a critique group.
Spend your time working hard to make your story as appealing as possible, so that when an agent or editor picks up your submission, they will want to read more.

Ah. I feel so much better now.

I Love YA

It's fun to make new friends. (And catching up with old ones too, let's not forget that).

A friend of mine (Hi Serena!) told me about a fabulous group of New Zealand and Australian authors who all love and write Young Adult books. Well, colour me happy.

They have formed a gang/coven/cotillion/mob at a great blog called We Love YA. It's full of great fun and some insider information too.

If you love writing YA, or you love reading it, then head on over.

The other very cute thing is when you comment, the blog assigns you a cute little blog-monster avatar. Mine has one eye, a protruding brain and batwings. It's like looking in a mirror!

Writing Advice

Do you want to know how the whole writing thing works? Got a great novel/script burning inside you, busting to get out? Then read James Moran's blog and get the answers.

Honestly, I couldn't have said it better.

Especially this bit:

"If I send you my stuff, will you read it and give me feedback?

No.

Why not? Five reasons. 

(1) Because I get tons of requests like this, and I'd never get any writing done if I started saying yes. 

(2) Because if your story features a giant robot, and in a year's time you see a Doctor Who story with a giant robot, you might think I nicked your idea and sold it to the production team. 

(3) Because if I'm already writing something similar to yours, I'll have to abandon it, otherwise I'll feel like I'm copying it. 

(4) Because I don't have the spare time, the spare brainpower, the spare energy. 

(5) Because I'd probably be completely wrong about your script anyway - sure, I love A Clockwork Orange and all sorts of clever movies. But I also love movies like Road House. And I'll defend Road House to the death, passionately, not in a "so bad it's good" kind of way, I genuinely love it and think it's a great movie. I might read your script and say it's no good, because it doesn't have a fight scene between two men in sweaty pants. You don't want that."

James Moran, you rock.

I am a very boring person because I am too busy writing to actually write about the writing process.

I think I did OK in the copy edits. I hope I haven't added in more mistakes! (cringe!) That would be embarrassing.

Now is the time for me to really make some progress with the sequel. I've got the story and voice of the first book fresh in my mind, so that carries over to book two.

Reading book one after a gap of a few months reminded me of a few little teasy-naughty-tricky plot points that can play an important part in book two.

Book two is due for delivery to the publisher in about two months. 

Back to Brugel for me.

Rolling up my sleeves

The copy edits have arrived for Ondine: The Summer of Shambles.

At this stage in the book's life, the main story is bedded down, but now we have to make sure everything else works. The characters must be consistent and we need to fix any remaining  grammar/spelling/continuity problems. (This does not mean you can write any old slop and the copy editor will fix it. Merely that by this stage in the process, we need to weed out anything that has so far escaped notice or that might have crept in during the earlier revision edits).

I'm on a pretty tight deadline. It's very exciting. It's also making me grin like a twit because I've made my editor swoon! 

I've been writing

Honestly, I have.

Loads of stuff.

I'm currently working on several projects at once.

The copy edits for Ondine - The Summer of Shambles will be lobbing into the email intray any day now.

I have finished the first draft of Ondine - The Autumn Palace

I am working on the first draft of a completely unrelated novel about three teenagers lost in a parallel world.

The edits for the next Romance Spinners Anthology will be arriving any day now as well.

And I'm doing the weekly website updates

 for a groovy TV show called Mercurio's Menu.

Why do I have so many things on the go?

It stops me from going mad.

When I finish my time travel novel, I'll send it to the bottom drawer for a while.

Then I'll work on the next draft of the second Ondine novel.

Then (if it's ready) I'll send the second Ondine novel to the publisher.

Then I'll go mad wondering what they think of it and oh dear it's a disaster isn't it, it's nothing like you thought it would be and please find a nice way to tell me it's utter crap.

However, if I have lots of other projects to get stuck into right away, this paranoia will only last a couple of days before I'm playing with my other group of imaginary friends.

It works for me. Pretty productive too.

The fires of hell

My home state of Victoria is in crisis.

In stark contrast, vast areas of the northern state of Queensland are flooded.

Australia is a bit of a mess right now. Communities are rallying around.

People are donating food, blankets, clothing, toys etc.

I am very lucky, living in the middle of Melbourne, far away from the tragedy. 

The death toll keeps rising and my heart is breaking.

And then there's this pic from photographer Russell Vickery at the Herald-Sun, which is so sweet and tender I want to cry.

We've all melted

Hell week.

There's simply no other way to describe it.

In Melbourne, our week looked like this:

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

So what, you say. And fair enough.

Now let me tell you what the temperature looked like.

35

38

43

44

45 - that's 113 in farenthingmy. 113!

31

31

Melbourne has never had three days of 43 or above before. As much as I love history, I hate living through it.

The days were hideous. The nights were awful, because they stayed hot. The power shortages didn't help. My little family camped out on the lawn because at least there was a 'slight' breeze. By which I mean you could feel the mosquitos' wings flapping as they dive-bombed us.

The train lines all buckled. We had bushfires burning close to power lines and half Melbourne had no power. (The bushfires are still burning, btw)

We've had no rain because 12 years on we're still in drought. Enduring this, we couldn't even have a hose fight because of water restrictions.

And as bad as it was in Melbourne, Adelaide was even hotter.