Talk Like A Pirate Day can kiss my aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrse.

It was international Talk Like A Pirate Day one of the days this week. It was all over facebook and twitter.

I was busy dealing with actual pirates, who are stealing my book and giving away copies for free. It began in April and has been a thorn in my side ever since.

Some authors may throw up their hands and say, "I can't do anything about it, it's too hard." Others try and look for some kind of silver lining and say, "I will take it as a compliment that people are interested in my book" or even the defeatist attitude "It's good promotion."

This is of course crap. Sure, I shouldn't be swearing, but fuxache pirates shit me. They are breaking the law and stealing the food off my table. So here's what I - and you - can do about it.

1: Set up a Google Alert.
If you have never done this, congratulations. That glowing orb in the sky is our closest star and provides all our heat. How do you walk and chew gum at the same time? Seriously? You're a published author (whether traditionally published or indie) and you've never set up a Google Alert?

OK, here's how you do a Google Alert for your books:

• Go to http://www.google.com/alerts
• Follow the instructions. I can't stress this enough. Follow. The. Instructions.

2: Search your titles. Put your author name, book title and 'free' in a search engine and see what comes up. It could look something like this.

3: Check your emails.  When the items in your Google Alert end up on a website somewhere, you'll get an email that might look like this picture to the right.

4: Create a new document called DMCA note. Copy and paste this template which is taken from these amazingly helpful people :

Send a letter like the following to make your claim:

VIA eMail at ISPHosting[at]isp.com

Re: Copyright Claim

To the ISP Hosting Company:

I am the copyright owner of the eBooks being infringed at:

http://www.freeebooks.com/MyGreatNovel.htm

http://www.freeebooks.com/links.htm

This letter is official notification under the provisions of Section 512(c) of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act ("DMCA") to effect removal of the above-reported infringements. I request that you immediately issue a cancellation message as specified in RFC 1036 for the specified postings and prevent the infringer, who is identified by its Web address, from posting the infringing material to your servers in the future. Please be advised that law requires you, as a service provider, to "expeditiously remove or disable access to" the infringing material upon receiving this notice. Noncompliance may result in a loss of immunity for liability under the DMCA.

I have a good faith belief that use of the material in the manner complained of here is not authorized by me, the copyright holder, or the law. The information provided here is accurate to the best of my knowledge. I swear under penalty of perjury that I am the copyright holder.

Please send me at the address noted below a prompt response indicating the actions you have taken to resolve this matter.

Sincerely,

/s/ Emily Dickinson

Email: hardworkingauthor[at]mybooks.com

After the ISP receives the notice, it should remove the infringing materials.

Infringements are much too common these days. Fortunately, there are tools to fight them. The DMCA takedown notice is one of the more powerful ones.

This letter was adapted from one written by Attorney Carolyn E. Wright, a/k/a the "Photo Attorney®," a licensed attorney dedicated to the legal needs of photographers. Get more information at Carolyn's website,www.photoattorney.com, or in Carolyn's book, The Photographer's Legal Guide.

NOTE: The information provided here is for educational purposes only. If you have legal concerns or need legal advice, be sure to consult with an attorney.

5: Fill the template with the information and links relevant to your particular book.

6: Find an email of the offending pirate site. This may not always be easy, as the dodgiest ones have broken links and might look like they care but in fact do not have any contact information anywhere on their pages.

HOW TO GET AROUND A SNEAKY PIRATE SITE THAT DOES NOT HAVE CONTACT INFORMATION

1: Type 'whois' into a search engine.
2: Type the offending domain into the search function within that 'whois' site.
3: Smile smugly at the amount of information you can get. Eg:

Raw Registrar Data

Domain Name:OVVEBOOKS.ORG
Domain ID: D173962754-LROR
Creation Date: 2014-09-16T06:56:35Z
Updated Date: 2014-09-16T06:56:41Z
Registry Expiry Date: 2015-09-16T06:56:35Z
Sponsoring Registrar:PDR Ltd. d/b/a PublicDomainRegistry.com (R27-LROR)
Sponsoring Registrar IANA ID: 303
WHOIS Server:
Referral URL:
Domain Status: clientTransferProhibited
Domain Status: serverTransferProhibited
Domain Status: addPeriod
Registrant ID:DI_36225240
Registrant Name:Hu Yong Fan
Registrant Organization:Hu Yong Fan
Registrant Street: Lichengqu
Registrant City:PuTian
Registrant State/Province:Fujian
Registrant Postal Code:351100
Registrant Country:CN
Registrant Phone:+86.02037423772
Registrant Phone Ext:
Registrant Fax:
Registrant Fax Ext:
Registrant Email:huyongfan@foxmail.com
Admin ID:DI_36225240
Admin Name:Hu Yong Fan
Admin Organization:Hu Yong Fan
Admin Street: Lichengqu
Admin City:PuTian
Admin State/Province:Fujian
Admin Postal Code:351100
Admin Country:CN
Admin Phone:+86.02037423772
Admin Phone Ext:
Admin Fax:
Admin Fax Ext:
Admin Email:huyongfan@foxmail.com
Tech ID:DI_36225240
Tech Name:Hu Yong Fan
Tech Organization:Hu Yong Fan
Tech Street: Lichengqu
Tech City:PuTian
Tech State/Province:Fujian
Tech Postal Code:351100
Tech Country:CN
Tech Phone:+86.02037423772
Tech Phone Ext:
Tech Fax:
Tech Fax Ext:
Tech Email:huyongfan@foxmail.com
Name Server:JIM.NS.CLOUDFLARE.COM
Name Server:ZITA.NS.CLOUDFLARE.COM
Name Server:
Name Server:
Name Server:
Name Server:
Name Server:
Name Server:
Name Server:
Name Server:
Name Server:
Name Server:
Name Server:
DNSSEC:Unsigned

Access to Public Interest Registry WHOIS information is provided to assist persons in determining the contents of a domain name registration record in the Public Interest Registry registry database. The data in this record is provided by Public Interest Registry for informational purposes only, and Public Interest Registry does not guarantee its accuracy. This service is intended only for query-based access. You agree that you will use this data only for lawful purposes and that, under no circumstances will you use this data to(a) allow, enable, or otherwise support the transmission by e-mail, telephone, or facsimile of mass unsolicited, commercial advertising or solicitations to entities other than the data recipient's own existing customers; or (b) enable high volume, automated, electronic processes that send queries or data to the systems of Registry Operator, a Registrar, or Afilias except as reasonably necessary to register domain names or modify existing registrations. All rights reserved. Public Interest Registry reserves the right to modify these terms at any time. By submitting this query, you agree to abide by this policy.

Isn't that awesome?
Yes, yes it is. OK, who cares what number we're up to. Here's what to do next.
1: Look for an email address in the whois information
2: Send your DMCA takedown notice to that email.
3: Keep track of the site and watch it vanish in a puff of smoke. Only to reappear a few days later under another name. Then you get ready to do it all again.

The price of literary freedom is eternal vigilance!

Make Your Middle Sing!

Recently, I attended a sensational workshop given by James Scott Bell. It was at the Romance Writers' of Australia conference in Sydney.

A seriously helpful how-to.

JSB is a huge fan of structure, which greatly appeals to me. One of the topics that resonated with me at this workshop was the "Mirror Moment". Up until now, I've always known it as the Midpoint in story structure. It happens pretty close to the middle of the story itself. To me, the Midpoint is where the character cannot go back to their ordinary life, they absolutely must take stock and take charge of their destiny.

You think it's a coincidence there's the Intermission in Gone With The Wind, right after Scarlett O'Hara stands there declaring she'll never go hungry again? Course not. Until this point, Scarlett has done her best to adapt to the perils life has thrown at her. But she's done with the world telling her what to do, she's taking matters into her own hands. Even if she has to lie, steal or kill. Tara (the family home) is the most important thing in the world to her, and nothing is going to take it away from her.

So to me it was the Midpoint, but James Scott Bell called it the Mirror Moment, because it's often that moment in a book or film, where the main character looks deep inside themselves and has to decide how they're going to go on. In an action story, it's where the character thinks they are going to die. Or, it could be the moment the character actually looks into a mirror and sizes themselves up. Silently, they face their deepest fears, knowing they have to be hero of their own story.

He goes into this in excellent detail in his book Write Your Novel From The Middle.

Which is pretty darn awesome.

So then, freshly fired-up, I came home and grabbed my first Ondine off the shelf and had a look at the very middle of the book. It's 292 pages long. The Absolute middle is therefore page 196. Did I have a Mirror Moment or a proper Midpoint? Did I have a main protagonist looking inside himself or herself, declaring how they were going to go on?

Why yes. Yes I absolutely did!

Seriously, my brain did me a solid. Thank you brain!

I'm not even sure I really knew what a Midpoint was, let alone a Mirror Moment when I first wrote this book waaaaaay back in about 2007/2008.

Sure, I loved structure, I loved characters being confronted with all sorts of issues, both external and internal. I also loved the way a character reacted against things for a little while, before pulling their boots on and standing up for themselves. Becoming an advocate for themselves.

But I don't think I understood structure properly. There was something subconscious about this writing that I must have picked up from a lifetime of reading.

Honesty time: I don't think I quite made enough of this Midpoint, but it is there. Hamish has come to the decision that he has to be a man, he has to finally grow up and be worthy of Ondine. Ondine too has seen Shambles/Hamish as the man he could be, and has decided to do whatever she can to keep him Hamishly human.

Those with eagle eyes will note this is 46% of the way in, because it's the ebook version. The reason this is not exactly 50% is because I placed sample chapters for book 2 at the end of this one, so that skewed the percentages. But hand on heart, this is the exact middle of the first book. The pages preceding and following are all about Ondine's need to help Hamish, and Hamish's need to be good enough for Ondine. I'd call that a pretty good Midpoint.

Do you have a favourite Midpoint in a movie or book? Share your moments in the comments. I have heaps of favourites but I've done enough talking. Now it's your turn.

Pressing The Go Button

I've never been so eager yet scared to press that 'go' button.

I did it today, a Sunday here in Australia. The formatting company I'm using, Bookbaby.com. says I should be getting my PDF proofs 'within approximately 10 business days' .

Here's my immediate problem. I've been telling the world the book will be on sale June 21. That's exactly 10 business days from now.

Ooops.

Obviously, I don't want to be a liar. BUT, I do need to read the proof first, just to make sure the ebook works the way an ebook should. This one (and the three to follow) have footnotes. I need them to work.

I'm sorry the book release could be delayed. This is completely my fault. This is my first venture into independent publishing and I'm making mistakes as I go along. But these are all mistakes I'm making at home, BEFORE the book gets out there.

I would much rather the book be late but gorgeous, instead of having it out there on an arbitrarily selected date but it then doesn't satisfy the readers.

Releasing the first two titles are a little like trial runs, to see how it all works. After bookbaby delivers the book, it takes 2 - 4 days for Amazon to load the book onto their sales pages. That's fine by me. BUT it can take  3 - 6 WEEKS to go on sale at the ibookstore.

If I want to get things all ready to be on sale at the same time across all formats, I have to work back 6 weeks from going 'live' and an extra 10 business days (another 2 weeks) for formatting. Which means I need to have things ready at least 2 months, preferably 10 weeks, ahead of time.

Looks like the rest of my year will be something of a blur.

Summer of Shambles Cover Reveal.

I can finally reveal the cover for the USA ebook version of Ondine, The Summer of Shambles.

And by USA I mean, USA, Russia, China, Mexico, Japan, Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Serbia, Ukraine, Croatia, Hong Kong, Malaysia and South Korea. Oh yes, and Moldova!

I think it's beautiful. But who cares what I think. You think it's beautiful as well, right?

Update:

This is author Paula Roe's reaction. It cracked me up. Because Paula is made of awesome.

Ondine's pretty new cover

Ooooh, this is gorgeous!

This is a new look for Ondine, to celebrate the release of the books in LARGE PRINT.

This is book one, and I'm delighted that they've extended the title to read ONDINE: The Summer of Shambles. I love the stars and the clean design. The girl is so pretty. She looks like she's snuck some pearls on . . . perhaps they are from the cache of jewellery they find under the floorboards? Ooooh, but I'm giving away too much! I love it.

The publisher is AudioGo Limited, and they used to be BBC Audio Books. Obviously, this is a Large Print and not an audio book . . . but we'll wait and see what happens next, eh? (Can't say too much, although I still fantasise about David Tennant narrating the book . . .)